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Aile A Evlilik Danışmanı İlişki Uzmanı Prof Dr Ekrem Çulfa 0533-3738123
ekremculfa@hotmail.com
How Should Family Life and Social Relations be Arranged During Old Age?
07/04/2020
How Should Family Life and Social Relations be Arranged During Old Age?

 

According to a research record, only 2 out of 19 people born in 1680 are 65 years old, 15 out of 19 people born in 1980 exactly 65 years later turns 65 years old. This means that the "permanent youth formula" was not found, but the "longer survival time" was extended. Moreover, in 2020, quality and healthy life were extended with exceptional circumstances such as coronavirus process.

 

When the life expectancy increased and the elderly population increased, problems related to aging became awaiting solution. Let us consider the psychology of aging by leaving the disease dimension aside and how we can help people in need of love, care and compassion:

 

What is Aging Psychology?

 

The expression of aging psychology should be used instead of aging psychology. Because as soon as a human is born, it begins to age, that is, to age, the brain cells begin to age. The foundations of a good old age are also laid in the first years of life. In fact, aging is the fate of aging, all living and inanimate beings. The aging person's hair is whites, his skin is wrinkled, he falls from power, and while his waist is twisted, his psychological structure also changes.

 

- Decreased psychological abilities:

 

Intelligence brightness decreases, learning new things gets harder, memory weakens, interference spirit and agility decreases.

 

Increased psychological abilities:

 

Wisdom and dignity become evident, logical and correct thinking is healthier; reasoning is strong; on-the-spot judgments are made easier. If the knowledge and experience are combined with mature personality, happy old men appear. They become more consistent, tolerant and patient.

 

What is Old-Young Difference?

 

Think of an army; uneducated but crowded. Think of another army; educated but few in number. The second army always defeats the first army. Great jobs are accomplished by correct thinking and validating goals rather than physical strength. In other words, mental acuity is essential rather than sword sharpness. So, if there are significant gains instead of the abilities that disappear with age, the person can have a pleasant old age.

 

Excessive attachment to "old" and fear of "new":

 

Such old people always tell their old memories, their memories of war and military service do not end. He forgets the guest who came to his house yesterday, but he tells 50 years ago in all his details. The family has now memorized them. This type of seniors are very uncomfortable with changing their old habits. If the room of the house, the painting on the wall, the location of the radio changes, they become restless and combative. In fact, they may be affected by the "accumulation disease" that accumulates cigarette butts or newspaper clippings etc.

The reaction to new things sometimes rises to the degree of "phobia", they do not even want new shoes, new clothes. Whatever is new is almost ugly for them, it is bad.

 

Clarification of egoism:

 

Some seniors constantly criticize young people, praising their own youth. They criticize, "Little has no respect for the big, nobody knows the limit." They even repeat that their rights have been defeated, that the country expects more services from them, and that it is a great mistake to deprive the country of their own.

 

Sense of missing the train:

 

There are elderly people who fall into sexual fantasy, leave their forty years old wife and marry their grandchildren. The sense of losing youth and tastes affects older people very much.

 

Excessive devotion to health:

 

Contrary to expectations, the fever of life increases more and more as we age. One thing many young people don't realize is that the elderly love life more. Therefore, an elderly person has the feeling that his health is neglected and not cared for.

 

Increased passions:

The word “Hirsi-i piri” describes some old people very well. In some elderly people, such as a baby who cannot leave his mother's breast, his passion for property and fame may be more flammable.

 

Excessive personality traits:

 

Even if the mosque collapses but the altar remains, no matter how old they are, some old people become more stingy, more aggressive. The basis of unbearable old age is actually laid in childhood.

 

Sense of loneliness:

 

The most important psychosocial problem of an elderly person is a sense of loneliness. When an elderly person is left in a very luxurious nursing home or hospital, he may experience a sudden collapse and death if he gets "loneliness". The emotions of the mother and father, who cannot see their children and grandchildren, bear the burden of life.

 

The fear of death:

 

The universal fear of people, but the fact that it cannot be avoided is “death”. There is a bleaching of the soul along with the bleaching of the hair in the elderly. Death spirit is the most important reason that bleaches. It is a “good life philosophy” that relieves an old man who is conscious of approaching death. How happy is the old man who sees death as a sect, who sees God, and rejoices, "Şeb-i Arus". Otherwise, when he woke up every morning, there could not be a painful feeling for the individual as he was one step closer to the death table.

Feeling of helplessness:
An elderly who is not in the old physical strength, is not comfortable with the effects of some discomfort, loses some of his pleasurable and enjoyable lives, is deprived of an efficient and productive job, and feels very weak, weak, aware of his approach to death at any moment. The most important help to people in these feelings is the support of the family and the environment and a good life philosophy.

SOME WRONG JUDGES ABOUT AGING:

X It is a disease without old age healing:

In old age, not only cure is not a cure, but one can have a pleasant old age with a good life philosophy. The idea of “I am old, better if I die” is one of the depressive thoughts in the elderly. A person who knows the value of his day will not care about such a wrong judgment.

X Feeling needy, pitiful:

The gains of the elderly are higher. What could be more pleasant than an old age full of young people who want to “teach” him from the environment.

The joy of living is lost in the old age, the thought of the happy period of youth life, the unhappy period of old life:

Aging is a period of problems. But even if you put a person looking with pessimistic glasses in heaven, they can find things that will disturb their comfort.
A person with a realistic life philosophy can be happy with the tiniest things. To a flying bird, it can be pleasure for him to walk around the cat. Enthusiastic elderly who keep their expectations high, cannot be happy because they always want more.
We will not want ambitious things from life, we will appreciate what you give us. So we can feel much better.
Wouldn't it be wiser to enjoy old age rather than mourning what they lost or couldn't win in youth?

The idea that retirement is a bad thing:

People who manage to be productive after retirement are younger. The health of people who consider retirement as a disaster rapidly deteriorates after retirement. İsmet İnönü, Faruk Gürler, passed away from cancer or serious illness within six months because they considered the Persian Shah Rıza Pehlevi retirement as a disaster.
Human beings should hold hands and work as long as their consciousness is in place. While laziness speeds up the aging process, functionality and activity keep the spirit young while taking age.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE FOR COMPLIANCE WITH AGING?

Negative factors for a healthy old age should be turned into a positive. How Does? If we summarize as items:

The brain is a device just like a machine. If taken good care, it will have a long life and will not wear out early.
Recent research shows that the brain constantly learning new things has a stimulating effect and slows cell aging.
It is very important for a person who is afraid of aging to work his brain well in accordance with the word “Working Iron Shines”. The brain is just like a well. It opens, fertilizes and becomes abundant as the water is taken.

2- Good nutrition, especially a diet rich in vitamins E and C, keeps brain cells young. Vitamin E, in particular, is a vitamin naturally abundant in olives. Vitamin E prevents the oxidation of brain cells, that is, it removes free radicals.

3 - Youth and adult life style is the best preparation for old age. In order to meet old age wisely and comfortably, the person should have a protective life philosophy and wrong judgments should be corrected.

4 - The elderly person who does not feel lonely and thinks that his family, children and relatives will be with him will feel stronger. The fact that his child says "Alo" and takes his heart with a few good words is the greatest gift for the elderly.

5 - Religiosity process: Hope and consolation is required for an elderly who feels old and thinks that the youth and world tastes he loves very much are preparing to call him “Goodbye”. On the one hand, the dilemma of being aware of the problems brought by old age, illnesses, feeling of loneliness, feelings of weakness and weakness, and on the other hand, being aware of the longing of youth and beautiful days, brings people in advanced age into chaos. The individual's hope and solace in such mental and emotional confusion has their beliefs.
Divine messages will give him strength and peace while thinking about his youth, the lost tastes and beauties, and suffering with longing and sadness. The heavenly messages such as “There is the Hereafter and it is beautiful, it is more beautiful than the world, the world is dungeon next to the hereafter, Death is to reach God” will make the believer more religious. Thus, the person who finds the meaning and deep light of existence in a world away from materialistic sharpness will see his future brighter and will get rid of uncertainty. This must be the secret of peace, well-being and peace of mind in religious elderly people.

As a result, to think that old age is not only a period of difficulties and difficulties but also a section of life with pleasant sides will make the elderly happy and will relieve the storms in their souls.

If you have any problems or questions at any time in your life, you can call our Online Professional Psychosocial Support line +905447243650 and contact our expert advisors, psychologists and psychotherapists.


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